Our children are severely allergic to tree nuts. One tiny dust sized particle could cause a reaction with the potential to be fatal.
From Wikipedia:
Anaphylaxis is a serious allergic reaction that is rapid in onset and may cause death. It typically causes a number of symptoms including an itchy rash, throat swelling, and low blood pressure. Common causes include insect bites/stings, foods, and medications.
My children have experienced the range of reactions.
- Swelling and hives from head to toe.
- Coughing, gagging and breathing difficulty.
- Itching, hives, agitation.
- The feeling of impending doom.
- Vomiting, diarrhea, stomach ache.
- Difficulty breathing Swelling, particularly of the face, throat, lips, and tongue in food allergies
- Light-headedness and dizziness due to a rapid drop in blood pressure
- Unconsciousness
- Hives – a blotchy rash that comes up very quickly, usually over the whole body
- Tightness of the throat and sometimes a hoarse voice
- Nausea and/or vomiting and diarrhea
- Abdominal pain
By midnight (12 hours later) the reaction came back with vengeance. His breathing was restricted and shallow, he was very sleepy. I observed his behavior to be highly unusual. He told me he had tried to use his inhaler but it had not worked. He then quickly self-administered the Auvi-Q and we called 911.
This was one of the scariest times in our lives.
On the ambulance I watched as he breathed and the EMT noted his labored but shallow breathing. Trying to stay calm for Hunter and to not appear absolutely crazy to the emergency medical workers. In my head I was screaming:
- Are they be trained and equipped in the seriousness of a life threatening reaction?
- Did they truly understand how serious this was?
- Do they know they are working on my only son? The son I prayed for and begged for God to send me for over 10 years?
At the hospital, additional medication was given to counteract the anaphylaxis. My son kept asking me if he was going to die. If he was going to be ok? We prayed together, I prayed silently, and I watched and waited. Eventually the doctors and nurses convinced my son to try to sleep, and he made me promise I would not sleep but watch over him to make sure he was breathing.
It was bad enough that I keeping my own fear inside and in check, Hunter was outwardly grieving and scared.
After being monitored and stabilized for several hours, we were released. Released.... but what if?
- What if the reaction started back up?
- What if I couldn't stop it this time?
- What if he eats something again?
- What if I can't save him?
How could this be my life? We aren't supposed to have to worry about our kids every second of the day. We aren't supposed to worry about a trace amount of nut contamination that could kill them.
God, what am I suppose to do?
The days ahead were filled with nothing short of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
I was in shock, and my son was afraid to eat, afraid to leave the room for fear of breathing in a particle of nut somewhere.
He was afraid to go to the fishing pier that he loved because someone may be eating nuts -- which fisherman do to pass the time away.
He was afraid -- to get too warm in the sun, because it could cause his allergic reaction to rear its' ugly head.
He couldn't breathe, his asthma after many years of lying dormant in his body, was severe and very active again, Hunter could not eat, and we were both mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted.
We returned home five days later.
Returned home to start middle school.
My son was hardly able to focus to complete homework, I was hardly able to focus in make sure he was doing his homework.
Keeping him in school was a struggle. We were literally treading water, except our heads were barely above the water. It felt more like slowly sinking.
As a result of his severe reaction on vacation, Hunter's entire immune system was out of sync. He now was experiencing chronic hives and chronic asthma.
His medication was changed.
He used the Auvi-Q again and we spent another evening in the emergency room.
Schoolwork was the last thing on his mind, and I struggled to keep up with what he was doing and still wondered if he should not even be attempting school at that time.
What did he eat? Well, that is easy. Virtually NOTHING.
He was afraid to eat anything.
- toast for breakfast
- a sub for lunch, with the same exact bread, meat and cheese every single day
- plain pasta for dinner
- hamburger
- salmon
This list sums up the food he would eat.
I found myself checking EVERY label again and then checking online on the allergy groups to check myself.
Nothing was easy.
His health had deteriorated, he had lost weight.
It has been six months since the reaction on vacation.
My son has slowly reintroduced foods into his diet -- which is good and bad. Good because he needs to eat more, bad because it makes me nervous.
His reaction was so sudden, and yet his sisters did not react. How little was the particle or amount of oil in his muffin that one bite could change his life in such a dramatic way.
The only way we truly survived this reaction and the aftermath was to pray and trust God.
Trust God would see us through and believe that my son was born to serve a purpose on this earth.
The best advice I can give to you if you are in a similar circumstance:
- Turn to God with every fear.
- Go easy on yourself.
- Go easy on your child.
It takes time to recover from a dramatic life event such as an allergic reaction.
Choose faith. Choose to live. Choose to be thankful for each day you are given.
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